Chainmail just doesn’t do it for me

If you’ve seen the lastest Underworld you probably know what I’m talking about.  Compare Kate Beckinsale’s modern, leather-clad vampire with Rhona Mitra’s medieval vampire and you can see right away that Patrick Tatopoulus’ take pales to Len Wiseman’s.  Perhaps largely in part due to the fact Wiseman knows how to shoot his wife.

In Rise of the Lycan’s we go back long before Kate’s leather-clad days and instead join Sonja, played by Mitra, as she quests for Lucian’s love. Or something like that.  The unfortunate thing about this movie is that we already knew the story thanks to flash backs in the first Underworld.  As a result, you know the ending you’re just waiting to see how long Mitra will last before the credits roll.  And she does fairly well.

I will admit, I went to see this movie (if it’s not already obvious) for Rhona Mitra.  And I enjoy a good vampire flick too.  Sadly I came away terribly disappointed largely because of three very important aspects.

1. The acting.  This was Bill Nighy’s worst performance that I’ve seen him in.  He was a kick ass vampire in the first of the trilogy but this one was really over-the-top.  Perhaps it was the shitty make-up job that made him look like a clown and less like a vampire.
2. The editing and cinematography.  Chop. Chop. Chop.  If you don’t mind quick cuts, you’re a rare breed.  And as for lighting, yeah no LEDs here folks.  Half the time I had trouble even figuring out what I was looking at.
3. Rhona Mitra.  I love her, I do and this aspect frankly isn’t her fault but the armor she had to wear did nothing for her figure.  Compare her to Kate and it’s like Boris and Natasha.

Overall opinion: C-